song of solomon.

i adjure you, o daughters of jerusalem, by the

gazelles or the does or the field,

that you not stir up or awaken love until

it pleases.

song of solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

this verse is mentioned 3 times in song of solomon.

i can't help to take heed.

soon.

i really want a tattoo...

either on my neck

or

on my wrist.

i want it to say "spoken for" in either מדובר על (hebrew)or Μίλησε για (greek).

someday...

late christmas presents...

i am hoping!

hopes and dreams.

today i am aware.

i am aware that my hopes and dreams lay in His hands.

i feel it.

i feel Him cradling everything i am, everything i want, everything i hope for, everything i'm not.

i feel my hands tied. there is nothing i can do to make my hopes and dreams come true.

all i can do is hope in and follow Him.

he knows how badly i want...to be a wife, mother, servant, encourager, light in darkness...

he knows...

how badly i want to love his creation.

how badly i want to touch the face of the unloved and rejected. clean the feet of the unwanted.

of my heartache for the orphans in the world.

i am tasting and feeling the lack of control i have over...EVERYTHING.

control freak is not a phrase i use to define myself but i guess we all have some control freak in us when is comes to our dreams and desires.

what a blessing that we don't have to explain our heart to Him...he just knows.

all we can do is...

trust.

i hear Him saying trust me.

trust me with your hopes. dreams. desires.

i find comfort in knowing that if i am never a mother or wife that He will fill that desire in other ways.

for now all i can do is ... jump.

jump into His embrace.

jump into His glory, mercy, love.

i close my eyes and picture myself falling. falling into Him.

getting lost in Him.

loving Him. knowing Him. trusting Him.

i have been crucified with Christ; it it no longer i who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life i now live in the body i live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. galatians 2:20

i am humbled. i am reminded.

my life is not my own.

i will waste my life...

it is good for me that i am afflicted,

that i might learn your statues.

psalm 119:71

guess what i want?!

i really want a kitty...!!

new look!

this is the color i am going for...

what do you think?!

eyes wide open

lately...

i have been learning about specifically being a woman of God.

what that means.

what that looks like.

how to live day to day.

why i act certain ways.

sin in my life that has been crippling me due to being a woman.

with all that said my eyes have been opened to the true definition of a godly woman.

slowly i hope to wrap my life around that definition.

some of the things that i have been learning are scary and convicting but i am realizing that if i am going to take another step, in this broken world, i need to redefine how i step and how i get up when i fall.

i have been learning some really cool things which in turn have opened my eyes to a true and perfect love that i have not really know until now.

the main idea that i am clinging to right now is that i need to be desperate. desperate for God. desperate for his mercy. his presence. i will stop at nothing to get to Him and let nothing get between me and Him. no matter how much pain or sorrow is in my life, no matter how ashamed of my sin i am, even when my heart feels like it is dying...i remain desperate. remembering all the while that i am utterly destitute and starving to death without God.

all beautiful you are, my darling;

there is no flaw in you....

you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride:

you have stolen my heart

with one glance of your eyes,

with one jewel of your necklace.

how delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!

how much more pleasing is your love than wine,

and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice.

song of solomon 4:7, 9-10

our only hope is our best hope, and He is the Lord God almighty. invincible warrior. fearless protector. merciful father. this is our wild and relentless God who will fight for those who belong to Him.

Be still, and know that I am God. psalms 46:10

God shows us that His glory is always worth the wait!!! He shows up when all the options had expired so that He will get the glory.

these are just some cool things i have been reading. i got it all from "do you think i am beautiful?"...i know awful title, slightly cheesy but good book.

scared kitten!

this literally made my day...no year!!

!!!!

super pumped!

i heart rob pattinson!

a is for adult.

several words define my life right now.

responsibility

loneliness

discipline

survival

brokenness

boldness

joy

obligation

growth

...

adult

the other day i realized that i am officially a grown-up.

i still long for my youth...which was only 6 months ago.

i am continually learning how to be broken joyfully.

it hasn't been easy.

life is much easier when it is not controlled by one's emotions.

in the past i have relied too much on friends...almost the the point of idolization.

no more...

slowly i am becoming content with being with just myself.

it has allowed me precious time to spend with God that i have never stopped to experience.

i am joyful, content, broken, lonely.

love and marriage

congratulations, mark and katie.

i love you both so much.

i cant wait to see how the Lord blesses your marriage.

i am so sad that i could not be at the engagement celebration tonight!

via sweeterie

...i want to see new moon, again

and again

and again

and again

addiction.

::post script::

dear roommates,

you are the best. you have made this austin adventure a true learning experience.

dear cupcakes,

you sit in the kitchen all day long talking to me. i do wish you would be quiet. you are driving me crazy! i am throwing you away...no more temptation!

dear friends scattered around texas,

i miss yall like crazy!! i am wishing that we would have made more videos during our short time in college. they would be fun to watch now...

dear thanksgiving,

please rejuvenate me.

dear nacogdoches,

here i come!!! i am so ready to swing, go to hastings, see the Woods, see the Irelans, and of course my family (including millie, mollie, maggie, midget, miss. kitty, and pumpkin spice latte!!!) eek i am so excited.

dear books,

you are burning a hole in my bag. i can't wait to read and relax!!

dear red lipstick,

you are currently my favorite play toy!

gobble gobble!

our God is in control.

This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
This is how it is
And our God is in control

This is not how it will be
When we finally will see
We'll see with our own eyes
He was always in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control

Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and see
That our God is in control

And we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
And we will finally really understand what it means
So we'll sing holy, holy, holy is our God
While we're waiting for that day

We're waiting for that day
We'll keep on waiting for that day
And we will rise
Our God is in control

happy midnight release of new moon day!

i know i know...i am not twelve but i love these books and movies!!

where my sanity lies...

during this time in my life i am clinging to a few things...

my love for reading

my love for jesus

and

these two verses...

now glory be to God! by his mighty power at work within us he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. eph 3:20

my daughter, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find knowledge of God. for the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. proverbs 2:1-6

(thanks calli)

everything else seems to be unstable.

i find myself clinging so tightly to wisdom and understanding that i might strangle them. searching for them so intently i might scare them away.

i pray that wisdom and understanding do not flee from me.

i need them.

they make the water i am treading seem effortless.

love

i have a slight obsession...can you guess what it is?

hint: its french

jack frost nippin at your nose

today in austin...it is cold!!

it is a lovely day.

tonight we are working with waking the world in showing the documentary manos de madre.

the part of the event that we are helping with will be outside!

we get to wear jackets and scarves and sweaters!!!

i am pumped!

eek!!

if you get a chance watch the trailer of the documentary at the link above!

partay.

i made this fruit dip for my j.crew meeting tonight.

1 8-oz. package cream cheese (you can use light cream cheese)

3/4 c. brown sugar

1 1/2 tsp. vanilla (you can add more to taste)

Toffee bits (look by the chocolate chips and try and find the chocolate covered ones if you can! Your dip won't be

pretty, but it will sure taste good!)

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/8 tsp. (about a pinch) nutmeg

all you do is mix and go!

you can add and type of desired sliced fruit to dip...and enjoy.

thanks katie t. and our best bites for the recipe.

angel, angel on the rim please don't let that ball go in!!!

tonight we are going to a professional basketball game!!

it is my first one ever!!

we are going to see the mavericks v. spurs.

although i am not an avid basketball or sports watcher...i like the spurs.

so kw (kortni) and I and elyse in spirt...are going to night!! eek

we are going to go early and eat at mi tierra's!!

it is my all time favorite mexican food restaurant in SA!

I can't wait!!!

GO SPURS GO!!

sorry dallas friends....i must stay true to my roots.

love it!

i am obsessed with this edition.

i especially love jump then fall but all are awesome!!

taylor you did it again!

how deep the Father's love for us.

if you could only grasp how wide and how long and how high and how deep, then

you'd know, yes, i really love you.

do you wonder if you are too far away from Me?

my love is wider still.

do you think that you've been away too long?

my love will wait longer.

do you believe that no one would ever want someone like you?

my love is higher than all the others.

have you been sure that you are too far gone?

my love is deep enough to reach even you.

you cannot fall past My love.

you cannot outrun My love.

you cannot reach the end of My love.

it is wide and long and high and deep enough for you.

we are all loved by a mighty, perfect, wonderful, merciful God.

joy.

this picture makes me happy.

there are other cat lovers out there!

there is hope.

picture from etc

::my day of rest::

enjoying a little bit of light reading.

i wish i could read faster...

i want to read everything.

i want to know.

i <3>

any good book suggestions?

happy fall friday!

love on a cat today.

desire.

if i knew that God called me beautiful, i could pursue my passions and live and love with abandon. i would not have to be guarded anymore.

the desperate search would be over.

i would be noticed.

desired.

known.

a zoo.

being at home these past few days has given me time with my wonderful very own zoo of animals.

i love them all...

midget

pumpkin spice latte

miss kitty

millie

mollie

maggie

yes some might say wow katie i can't believe you have so many animals (in a disgusted tone)

i would say to them, "they are each a little ball of love and joy that are always there to love you!!"

so go ahead...make fun.

see. if. i. care.

xoxo

catwoman

::for those of you who get it <3::

haha

picture via etc

yummy.

turkey tortellini soup

colorburst cupcakes

lately all i want to do is cook.

i don't want to cut any corners.

i want to make everything by scratch.

where to start??

i think i will start with these two recipes.

thanks our best bites for the recipes!

wishes.

one day i hope to have a library with a secret door...so fun!

wind in my hair.

i.

need.

to.

escape.

make your way straight before me.

hints.

today i saw and felt the first hints of fall...

nice breeze

ate candy corn through out the day

make pumpkin (burned them) and scaredy cat cookies.

it was a pleasant autumn day in central texas!

my fingers are crossed for snow this year!

whimsical.

i am dreaming...of a magical party.

it is a summery party and i don't always like summer (due to my pale skin).

it includes things like...

this very dreamy fort.

that you lie in all day cloud watching...

...and drinking mint and honey tea out of mason jars with straws.

and some flavor of cupcake of course.

while...

...reading from the classics out of these super cute books.

if only i had a backyard!

giddy!

my dearest mother chucker...i can't wait to see what shenanigans you get into this season!!

xoxo.

new goal

my goal for fall is to have red lips, nails, and shoes!

i love this girls outfit!

now i just need a pair of red heels...

ode to michele...

happy birthday michele!!

you are 23. i guess it is time to be a big girl...na never!

forever young!!

michele today i have thought about how i am extremely blessed to have you as a friend...seriously.

when i think about you going off to new york i want to cry.

yet i am so happy that you are getting to live out one of your dream!

please come back.

please...

you inspire me!

thanks for always being there for me!

::lylas::

happy friday!

super excited about candy corn season!

memories

in memory of all the fallen...

my heart goes out to all of the families that lost their loved ones 8 years ago today.

Psalm 91:1

at the moment...

...i am listening to...

quelqu'un m'a dit -- carla bruni

two --ryan adams

the greatest --cat power

just like heaven -- katie melua

send it on --disney's friends for change (haha i know!)

haven't met you yet -- michael buble

i won't --colbie caillat

this years love -- david gray

please, please, please, let me get what i want -- she & him

sweet disposition -- the temper trap

eet -- regina spektor

eyes --rogue wave

under control -- parachute

blood bank --bon iver

let us love -- needtobreathe

fake empire -- the national

use somebody -- brooke white

my perfect playlist for the moment!

blog love.

i am absolutely obsessed with this blog!!!

i want to be a creative picture taker like her...someday!

just fall...

when i think of autumn...alot comes to mind:

pumpkin loaf

warm socks

leggings

hot chocolate

the smell of a fire pit

decorations

sweatshirt hugs

christmas

halloween

thanksgiving

christmas lights

baking

warm candle scents

the list could go on...

i welcome you september with open arms!

stop and smell...Lola!

marc jacobs new perfume is out...

and it is called LOLA!

it is my favorite girls name!

i like the purple bottle too!

let's go to the movies!

looking forward to this movie. i heart sandra bullock.

mientras que estoy esperando...

my song of the moment:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

i pray that this is how i am living my life while i am waiting...

ps i miss speaking spanish. i am awful now.

thank you, God.

alot has been going on here in a-town.

i am learning many new things about myself...some i like but most of it i don't like.

pretty sure that church is the only constant thing in my life right now.

i adore austin stone community church...i already see how it is affecting my life.

i am still working at jcrew. i have to keep telling myself that it is a blessing and not a burden. it is super annoying that each week there is no telling what my schedule could be for the next week.

God is teaching me: faith, discipline, budgeting, trust, persistence, obedience, and so much more.

still don't have a job.

praying for God's best in my life and learning to wait on Him alone and nothing else.

i am a work in progress.

i love my roommates. we wish we had more friends to hang out with but are falling more and more in love with austin.

all in all God has proved faithful with everything. i understand a little bit more each day how God is my everything and i am nothing without him.

fall fashions!

i am so excited about fall fashions!!

i want all of the shoes!

now i just need to save a bit a money...work in progress!