song of solomon.

i adjure you, o daughters of jerusalem, by the

gazelles or the does or the field,

that you not stir up or awaken love until

it pleases.

song of solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

this verse is mentioned 3 times in song of solomon.

i can't help to take heed.

soon.

i really want a tattoo...

either on my neck

or

on my wrist.

i want it to say "spoken for" in either מדובר על (hebrew)or Μίλησε για (greek).

someday...

late christmas presents...

i am hoping!

hopes and dreams.

today i am aware.

i am aware that my hopes and dreams lay in His hands.

i feel it.

i feel Him cradling everything i am, everything i want, everything i hope for, everything i'm not.

i feel my hands tied. there is nothing i can do to make my hopes and dreams come true.

all i can do is hope in and follow Him.

he knows how badly i want...to be a wife, mother, servant, encourager, light in darkness...

he knows...

how badly i want to love his creation.

how badly i want to touch the face of the unloved and rejected. clean the feet of the unwanted.

of my heartache for the orphans in the world.

i am tasting and feeling the lack of control i have over...EVERYTHING.

control freak is not a phrase i use to define myself but i guess we all have some control freak in us when is comes to our dreams and desires.

what a blessing that we don't have to explain our heart to Him...he just knows.

all we can do is...

trust.

i hear Him saying trust me.

trust me with your hopes. dreams. desires.

i find comfort in knowing that if i am never a mother or wife that He will fill that desire in other ways.

for now all i can do is ... jump.

jump into His embrace.

jump into His glory, mercy, love.

i close my eyes and picture myself falling. falling into Him.

getting lost in Him.

loving Him. knowing Him. trusting Him.

i have been crucified with Christ; it it no longer i who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life i now live in the body i live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me. galatians 2:20

i am humbled. i am reminded.

my life is not my own.

i will waste my life...

it is good for me that i am afflicted,

that i might learn your statues.

psalm 119:71

guess what i want?!

i really want a kitty...!!

new look!

this is the color i am going for...

what do you think?!

eyes wide open

lately...

i have been learning about specifically being a woman of God.

what that means.

what that looks like.

how to live day to day.

why i act certain ways.

sin in my life that has been crippling me due to being a woman.

with all that said my eyes have been opened to the true definition of a godly woman.

slowly i hope to wrap my life around that definition.

some of the things that i have been learning are scary and convicting but i am realizing that if i am going to take another step, in this broken world, i need to redefine how i step and how i get up when i fall.

i have been learning some really cool things which in turn have opened my eyes to a true and perfect love that i have not really know until now.

the main idea that i am clinging to right now is that i need to be desperate. desperate for God. desperate for his mercy. his presence. i will stop at nothing to get to Him and let nothing get between me and Him. no matter how much pain or sorrow is in my life, no matter how ashamed of my sin i am, even when my heart feels like it is dying...i remain desperate. remembering all the while that i am utterly destitute and starving to death without God.

all beautiful you are, my darling;

there is no flaw in you....

you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride:

you have stolen my heart

with one glance of your eyes,

with one jewel of your necklace.

how delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!

how much more pleasing is your love than wine,

and the fragrance of your perfume than any spice.

song of solomon 4:7, 9-10

our only hope is our best hope, and He is the Lord God almighty. invincible warrior. fearless protector. merciful father. this is our wild and relentless God who will fight for those who belong to Him.

Be still, and know that I am God. psalms 46:10

God shows us that His glory is always worth the wait!!! He shows up when all the options had expired so that He will get the glory.

these are just some cool things i have been reading. i got it all from "do you think i am beautiful?"...i know awful title, slightly cheesy but good book.

scared kitten!

this literally made my day...no year!!